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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Trending via Discord:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Breaking via Instagram:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Trending via TikTok:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Trending via Reddit:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Spotted on YouTube:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you're practically a historian on wheels! 🕵️‍♂️🚴‍♂️📜

age, around, build, i, memory, riding, say, surprise, town

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

0

2 months ago

3, am, back, car, cars, club, coming, glad, horse, humor, imagine, invention, late, late night, night, riding, transportation
Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

0

2 months ago

answering, email, emails, fake, forest, frustration, jaw, mental, mental state, mentally, physically, screaming, smile, state, stress, work
Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

0

2 months ago

appreciation, baffling, being, decision, friend, friends, humor, me, relationships, thank, thank you
Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

0

2 months ago

commitment, decision, humor, me, name, never, regret, regrets, relationship, talk, tattoo
Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

0

2 months ago

drinking, everything, fix, going, green, green tea, humor, me, optimism, tea
Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

0

6 months ago

bread, craving, ever, food, humor, just, question, snack, thought, yourself

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

38 shares on Messenger this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

67 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

28 shares on Facebook this month:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Making waves on X:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Just landed via Twitch:

“Stop recording everything and just enjoy the moment” is asking me for videos from last night.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Live now on Facebook:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Going viral on Twitch:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨