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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Just shared via Reddit:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Just landed via WeChat:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Just landed via Discord:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Trending via Twitch:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Spotted on Reddit:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Just landed via Facebook:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Going viral on TikTok:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Live now on Facebook:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Breaking out my 'functional adult' costume for the day! Let's hope it's not as itchy as my last cosplay 😅🎩 #AdultingLikeAPro"

adult, adulthood, again, cosplay, functional, functional adult, humor, identity, role-playing, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

0

2 months ago

feet, glad, humor, i, internet, over, preference, seasonal, summer
I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

0

2 months ago

anger, anyone, fast, fast food, food, food order, frustration, humor, i, order, over, personality, reaction, trust
Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

0

2 months ago

deficiency, fast, health, health humor, humor, iron, iron deficiency, joke, nutrition, pun, stand, too, wellness
People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

0

5 months ago

again, age, boredom, day, doing, home, humor, just, much, over, people, repetition, routine, same, self-reflection
The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

0

2 months ago

actual, anticipation, before, day, day off, fun, humor, night, prelude, relaxation, satisfaction
Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

0

2 months ago

again, daily, daily struggle, every, exhaustion, humor, i, me, morning, morning routine, not again, oh, relatable, routine, sleep, struggle, time, wake, waking, waking up

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

36 shares on Twitch this month:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

The sexual tension between me and a late afternoon coffee to get me through the workday.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Shared recently on X:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Live now on Discord:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Trending via Messenger:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Spreading quickly via X:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Spreading quickly via X:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Going viral on Reddit:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨