Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.
  • Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.
  • IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”
  • When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.
  • The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.
  • I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.