Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I don’t have any rizz but I do have snacks in my purse.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Almonds are a scam. They are wood. You are eating wood.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Going bananas on Messenger:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Just shared via X:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Spotted on Threads:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Just landed via Twitch:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

Going viral on Instagram:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

I’m running out of people I like.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like I need to start a campaign to recruit more likeable humans! 😅🤔 #LimitedSupply #CastingCall"

dislike, humor, humor quote, i, people, relationships, running, sarcasm, social

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Another Monday that no one asked for.

0

2 months ago

another, asked, frustration, humor, Monday, routine, sarcasm, workweek
At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

0

2 months ago

activity, club, dancer, fun, fun activity, humor, me, nightlife, sighing, strip, strip club, what’s, what’s wrong, wrong
My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

0

2 months ago

book, booking, bored, boredom, buy, flight, i, impulse, impulse buy, looking, start, toxic, toxic trait, trait, travel
Girls are perverts when they like you.

0

2 months ago

attraction, flirting, girl, girls, humor, pervert, relationship
I will sit in the rain about this.

0

3 months ago

humor, i, patience, rain, sit, sitting, stubbornness, weather
It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

0

2 months ago

celebration, day, expectations, Groundhog, holiday, humor, i, love, ok, relationship, single, Valentine

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

45 shares on Discord this month:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Is this simulation from Temu?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Live now on Snapchat:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Breaking via Reddit:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Going bananas on Slack:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Shared recently on Threads:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Spotted on Reddit:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Making waves on TikTok:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

Just landed via WeChat:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m running out of people I like.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Another Monday that no one asked for.

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Girls are perverts when they like you.

I will sit in the rain about this.

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨