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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

35 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Going viral on Facebook:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Making waves on Instagram:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

Spotted on Twitch:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Just shared via Messenger:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Just landed via Telegram:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Spotted on Instagram:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Making waves on Threads:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

6 months ago

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic cringe-inducing paragraphs of yesteryear, where emotions flowed freely like an overflowing river of verbosity 🤦‍♂️. Thank goodness for character limits and emoji translations to save us from our past oversharing sins! 😅"

embarrassment, expression, feelings, humor, i, paragraphs, self-reflection, send, used, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

35 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Going viral on X:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Live now on TikTok:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Making waves on Threads:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Making waves on Reddit:

It’s been a pleasure miscommunicating with you.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

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