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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Making waves on X:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Shared recently on Telegram:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Live now on WeChat:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Seen just now on Discord:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Just landed via X:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Making waves on Threads:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When life hands you drama, just say 'no thanks, I'm on a low-gossip diet' 🍵🙅‍♂️🙃

business, grateful, gratitude, humor, none, privacy, sarcasm, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

0

2 months ago

apology, awkwardness, distraction, eye, flirting, humor, i, joke, misunderstanding, playful, something, sorry, thought
Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

0

2 months ago

chores, clean, cook, daily, daily task, decision, decision making, grocery, humor, humor quote, i, laziness, making, okay, procrastination, reading, shopping, task
Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

0

2 months ago

am, animal, better, comparison, daily, daily life, day, dog, every, happiness, having, head, humor, i, joy, know, life, pet, time, window
The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

0

5 months ago

b, humor, letter, letter b, pun, spelling, subtle, wordplay
Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

0

2 months ago

anyone, food, going, humor, IKEA, meatball, needs, shopping, Swedish, Swedish meatball, trip
I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

0

2 months ago

deleted, enough, humor, i, know, media, never, permanence, regret, self-awareness, should, social, social media, tattoo, tweet, Tweets

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Discord this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

87 shares on X this month:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

89 shares on TikTok this month:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having a pool is so neat. All of your friends are suddenly interested to catch up on the hottest days of the year.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Riding a bike is an insane concept. You just sit and run at the same time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Spotted on Twitch:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Just shared via Facebook:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Just landed via Discord:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m so grateful that so many things are none of my business.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨