I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I can melt an ice cube just by staring at it. It takes a while, but I can do it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.