I’m sorry your man wears his sunglasses on the back of his head.

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I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.

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My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

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Could you set a lightsaber on low and use it as a back scratcher?

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Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here talking baby talk to my plants.

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I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

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Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

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I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.