Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

In marriage, whoever has the cooler last name gets to continue their legacy. Reject tradition.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Can you imagine if AI ever evolves into trying to kill us, and the thing that saves us is one of Cloudflare’s outages?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Jan 7, 2026

3,264

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Going viral on Instagram:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Shared recently on Twitch:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Live now on WeChat:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Going viral on X:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Making waves on Snapchat:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Spotted on YouTube:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

2 months ago

0

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe we've been doing it all wrong, and social distancing was the key to happiness all along! 🤔💭 Avoid people, embrace solitude, and enjoy the peaceful sound of your own thoughts… seems like a solid plan! 🌟😂 #IntrovertLife"

avoiding, avoiding people, happiness, happy, happy life, having, humor, introvert, life, people, secret, solitude, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

0

2 months ago

being, blame, day, festive, ghost, Halloween, humor, relationships, social, someone
So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

0

3 months ago

afterlife, audition, Earth, heaven, hell, humor, philosophy
I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

0

3 weeks ago

anything, fat, humor, old, question, short, something, thinking, word
After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

0

2 months ago

after, boss, difficult, difficult time, having, humor, privacy, respect, time, today, week, week off, work
I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

0

2 months ago

being, cleaning, feel, glasses, humor, i, joy, know, never, package, perspective, sorry, UHD, upgrade, vision
I think my wife has got early Alzheimer’s. Every day she tells me that she has no idea what she first saw in me.

0

2 months ago

Alzheimer’s, day, early, every, humor, i, idea, joke, marriage, me, memory, relationship, saw, think, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

92 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Some things are better left unsaid,” I think to myself immediately after I hit send.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

DMs full of guys who wouldn’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid I thought shrimp cocktails had alcohol in them and I thought it was such a weird way to get drunk.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Trending via X:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Going viral on WeChat:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Making waves on Twitch:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Going viral on Slack:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Vegetables are actually pretty good when they’re fried.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

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