I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

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Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

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Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

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I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

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Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

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I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

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My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

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I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.