Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Seen just now on Threads:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Trending via TikTok:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Just landed via TikTok:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Trending via WeChat:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Shared recently on Telegram:

There’s something meditative about cleaning. It’s the perfect time to reflect and plan revenge on every single person who has ever wronged you.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Trying to quit sexual innuendos? That's a hard task indeed! 😏 Stay strong, we believe in you… or do we? 😉 #InnuendoOverload"

comedy, hard, humor, innuendo, joke, making, quit, sexual, sexuality, struggle, trying

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

0

2 months ago

do nothing, humor, just, nothing, relaxation, sit, stress, time, too
Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

0

2 months ago

advice, choice, dating, dating advice, expectations, flag, humor, modern, modern dating, red, red flag, relationship, tolerate
I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

0

2 months ago

communication, guys, health, humor, know, let, media, mental, mental health, psych, psych ward, social, social media, technology, ward, wifi
To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

0

2 months ago

air, air conditioner, conditioner, context, fans, humor, only, people, remark, upgrade, witty, witty remark
The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

0

2 months ago

Earth, fastest, humor, internet, mammal, sarcasm, smartass, web, wit
The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

0

2 months ago

forgive, hope, humor, love, relationships, second, stupidity, third, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on X this month:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

60 shares on Discord this month:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

48 shares on X this month:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

64 shares on Threads this month:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

26 shares on Discord this month:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Going viral on Facebook:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Spotted on Slack:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The words I can’t wait to hear someday, “I’m sorry, Mom, you were right about everything.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨