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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Spotted on Slack:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Broadcasted on X:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Trending via Discord:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

4 weeks ago

0

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just call me the "Silent RT Ninja"—I'm basically retweeting in Morse code 😂🤐🔄

era, humor, internet, just, media, retweet, social, social media, speechless

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My love language is deader than Latin.

0

2 months ago

communication, dead, humor, language, Latin, love, love language, relationship
If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, anger, angry, ban, drunk, father, hunger, hungry, lot, memory, ones, people, stoned, weed
I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

0

2 months ago

always, bad, deserve, good, humor, i, motivation, routine, self-care, self-indulgence, self-love, simply, treat, treats, week, weekly, weekly routine
Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

0

2 months ago

diaper, getting, group, guy, just, okay, people, pooping, ridiculous, son
Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

0

2 months ago

aloud, awkward, awkward situation, book, flight, humor, i, just, middle, middle seat, over, reading, seat, seatmate, should, sitting, situation, start
“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

0

2 months ago

alone, answer, aspiration, child, childhood, grow, grow up, humor, i, left, question, right, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

26 shares on X this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

15 shares on Threads this month:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

You know you’re over 50 when you have “upstairs Ibuprofen” and “downstairs Ibuprofen”.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

62 shares on X this month:

They say that 50 is the new 40, but these traffic police are having none of it.

21 shares on Threads this month:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,346

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

No, I don’t comment, I voodoo doll like a real adult.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Trending via WhatsApp:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Going viral on Discord:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Just landed via Telegram:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The world started without permission again.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

Spotted on Telegram:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

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