Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

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Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

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Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

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“Well, at least tomorrow is Friday.” -Me, having a bad Wednesday that’s about to get even worse.

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Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

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My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

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I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

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If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

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Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

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Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

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Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.