Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.