Commentary:
Looking for my microphone so I can double down on my greatest hits 🎤😄 #Unfiltered
23 Funny threat quotes
Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.
Commentary:
Trying to negotiate with a cop like they're a toddler – peak strategy! 👃🚔😅
If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.
Commentary:
Planning my escape route or starring in a thriller movie—either way, stay tuned! 🤔🕵️♂️🚪
Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.
Commentary:
Years later and still serving up cold dishes 🍽️😎 Revenge isn't a fast food! 🍔⏳
James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.
Commentary:
Why stress over world domination when you can just buy the planet and forget to water it 😂💸🌍
I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’
Commentary:
If flies could speak English, I'd finally have someone new to ignore my ultimatums 😂🪰💬
You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.
Commentary:
😂 "Next time my barista tells me to 'enjoy the next 24 hours,' I'm ordering my coffee with a side of panic! ☕😅🚨"
I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.
Commentary:
When your kid's "special" gift comes with a side of intimidation 😂🎁🙄
Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.
…
Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the original 'Skip Intro' that no one dared to fast-forward 😂🔍🎥 #VHSNostalgia"
Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.
Commentary:
"Watch out! My skill with a blade is only matched by my love for Shakira! 🎶⚔️😂"