Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Trending via TikTok:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Seen just now on X:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Trending via Snapchat:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Making waves on YouTube:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Is it too late to return my Master’s degree in Procrastination Studies? 🤔📚😂

absolutely, crazy, expectation, gadget, humor, iPad, need, PR, reality, technology, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

0

3 months ago

budgeting, confusion, finance, humor, i, joke, money, need, personal, personal finance, save, saving, spending, understand
How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

0

2 months ago

back, breathing, confusion, humor, logic, oxygen, right, running, submarine
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, day, days, fatigue, humor, morning, needs, tired, today
Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

0

2 months ago

confidence, dominance, eating, front, humor, indoor, indoor plant, joke, nature, plant, plants, playful, quirky, salad
I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

0

2 months ago

cocktail, hope, humor, i, irony, light, molotov, Molotov Cocktail, want, world
If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, ignore, let, me, reiterate, repetition, sarcasm, second, sentence, start, time, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Slack this month:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

41 shares on Instagram this month:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

Going viral on Telegram:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Trending via Facebook:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Just landed via WeChat:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Breaking via Telegram:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨