Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"🛒✈️ Seriously, does buying a pack of gum come with a boarding pass now? Stay tuned for the next announcement reminding you not to leave your sense of humor at the security checkpoint! 😂 #InflightShopping"

airport, cost, everything, humor, just, me, observation, prices, shopping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

0

2 months ago

14th, couple, day, expensive, getting, home, hotel, hotel room, humor, people, position, positions, relationship, room, rooms, same, sex, sex position, shout, travel, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

0

2 months ago

death, die, humor, i, irony, know, legacy, mischief, people, say, surprise, unconventional, want
Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

0

2 months ago

answer, enemy, humor, life, never, outlive, resilience, struggle, suicide
I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

0

2 months ago

break, got, humor, i, know, life, motivation, need, pen, put, somewhere, story, throw, win, writing
I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

0

2 months ago

being, body, buy, clothes, fashion, humor, i, model, new, option, shopping, think, time, too
I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, comedy, head, health, humor, i, imagination, mental, mental health, mind, own, podcast, voices

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on X this month:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

67 shares on Discord this month:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

74 shares on X this month:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

68 shares on Threads this month:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

And are the people who find you “hilarious” in the room with us now?

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Spotted on TikTok:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Spreading quickly via X:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Making waves on Slack:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

Spotted on Facebook:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Breaking via Messenger:

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

Going viral on Slack:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨