Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Breaking via TikTok:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Trending via WeChat:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Just landed via Slack:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Making waves on WeChat:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

Trending via Instagram:

The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

Seen just now on Threads:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When pasta, pizza, and romance are a package deal, how can you not say 'Te amo'? 🍕❤️🇮🇹"

always, country, humor, i, Italy, love, romance, truly, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

0

2 months ago

chilling, documentary, entertainment, humor, irony, just, killer, news, put, relax, relief, serial, serial killer, stress, stress relief, turned
It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

0

2 months ago

communication, entertainment, humor, new, podcasting, self-talk, talking, term, used, yourself
Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

0

2 months ago

breathing, breathing competition, call, communication, competition, humor, interaction, me, number, numbers, patience, phone, phone call, sarcasm, social, social interaction, talk, unknown, unknown number, waiting, welcome
It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal humor, confidence, cool, fear, fish, humor, me, quirky, romance, sad, sadness, self-esteem, want, women
Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

0

2 months ago

actually, bolt, bowl, breakfast, cereal, eating, funny image, humor, image, irony, much, nuts, nuts and bolt, robots, technology
I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

0

2 months ago

hearing, humor, i, ID, log, log off, myself, sarcasm, self, self-talk, talk, tired

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Having a crush should be considered a form of self-harm.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a big believer in not going to work on your birthday!

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

61 shares on YouTube this month:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

66 shares on Slack this month:

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

If cartoons have taught us anything, it’s the uselessness of little umbrellas when plummeting from a cliff.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

Spotted on TikTok:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Spotted on Threads:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Freshly posted on X:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Live now on Discord:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Spotted on Threads:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Going viral on Twitch:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Making waves on Twitch:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

It’s cool that women want me, but it makes me sad that fish fear me.

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨