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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I love having plans to cancel.

Trending via Twitch:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Trending via Discord:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I had 99 problems but getting divorced solved 98 of them.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

1 month ago

Humorous text about Christmas with a playful, cheeky vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Standing atop Christmas, but the bells are on a coffee break 🎅🔔☕

Christmas, holiday, holiday humor, humor, jingle, pun, standing, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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66 shares on Threads this month:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

72 shares on Threads this month:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

43 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

12 shares on Slack this month:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

You will give your period 50 acres of prime pad, and it will still choose to encroach on your underwear.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Spotted on Snapchat:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Going viral on Threads:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Breaking via WeChat:

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

Trending via Threads:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Keep the laugh going 😂

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨