Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Step aside, front door – you're not the only one bringing the heat! 🔥🚪 Opening you up feels like walking into a baking show instead of the great outdoors. I better check for cookies, just in case! 🍪😅"

checking, door, front, front door, heat, hot, i, outside, oven, summer, thought, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

0

6 months ago

application, employment, exaggerated, exaggeration, humor, i, job, job application, living, motivation, said, wanted, work
Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

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6 months ago

humor, laziness, management, nothingness, procrastination, schedule, squeeze, time, time management, today, trying
Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

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2 months ago

animal, animal humor, cats, day, domestic, domestic life, every, gratitude, home, house, humor, i, life, live, me, owner, pet, pet owner, thank
Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

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2 months ago

away, cat, cats, change, Christmas, day, decorations, holiday, humor, pet, pet humor, putting, sad, sad day, seasonal, seasonal change, tree
If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

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2 months ago

activity, before, breaking, breakup, Christmas, date, dating, deviled, deviled egg, egg, eggs, exchange, feeding, fun, fun activity, gift, gift exchange, gifts, start, Thanksgiving
He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

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4 months ago

baby, book, books, humor, i, intelligence, read, reading, sarcasm, smart

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Discovering the Spice Girls broke up not over money and fame but lesbianism.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Just shared via Instagram:

Apparently, I’m not even going through a lot; I just need money.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Spotted on Reddit:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Seen just now on Threads:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

Just shared via TikTok:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Just shared via TikTok:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Shared recently on Discord:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨