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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Looking to sell my DeLorean. Great shape, low mileage. Only driven from time to time.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,365

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

And where did Mr. Pepper receive his degree from exactly?

Spotted on Twitch:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m tired of pretending talking about the weather isn’t fun.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Spotted on Discord:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Shared recently on Threads:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I have poor night vision so I upgraded to LED headlights because it’s important to me to ensure nobody else can see either.

Going viral on Slack:

And what do we do when we are sad? “Add to cart”

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Choosing a jacket in this weather feels like picking the wrong answer in a multiple-choice test…🧥❌🤔"

choose, every, jacket, time, where, wrong, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

2 months ago

activity, book, book lover, books, fun, fun activity, hobby, humor, i, library, lover, me, need, old, old book, quirky, quirky hobby, sniffing
I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

2 months ago

25, Aldi, bargain, behavior, believe, buy, cart, consumer, consumer behavior, deal, even, good, humor, i, impulse, impulse buy, just, pass, shopping, shopping cart, still, too, unexpected, unexpected use
Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

2 months ago

better, hear, house, humor, i, parking, parking spot, radio, someone, spot, sunglasses, take, turn
Imagine being social on social media.

2 months ago

being, communication, humor, imagine, interaction, irony, media, online, online interaction, social, social media
The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

5 months ago

admission, blame, communication, humor, person, problem, relationship, step
In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

2 months ago

airplane, airplane safety, card, credit, credit card, emergency, event, head, humor, inflate, jacket, joke, landing, life, life jacket, over, place, safety, swipe, water, water landing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Facebook this month:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

89 shares on Threads this month:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

22 shares on Twitch this month:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

25 shares on X this month:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Spotted on YouTube:

My husband needs a hearing aid, but refuses to get one because it’s the key to our happy marriage.

Breaking via TikTok:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Spotted on X:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Making waves on Telegram:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Going bananas on Messenger:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Breaking via TikTok:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Just shared via Telegram:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Imagine being social on social media.

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨