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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Live now on WhatsApp:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Going bananas on X:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Going viral on Discord:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Spotted on Messenger:

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Yeah, it's short for 'Fabulous and Terrific'! 😄🍩👍"

anything, fat, humor, old, question, short, something, thinking, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

2 months ago

am, heart, humor, i, love, matters, perspective, relationship, size
You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

3 months ago

activity, crazy, friendship, fun, hang, hang out, humor, me, train
(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

2 months ago

confusion, humor, i, just, know, myself, self, self-talk, talk, talking, talking to myself, tell
My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

2 months ago

budget, celebration, everyone, firework, happy, humor, independence, july, neighbor, sarcasm, unemployed, wish
Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

2 months ago

attitude, humor, irony, just, problem, self-awareness, solution, whole
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

2 months ago

accept, acceptance, conditions, humor, i, irony, lord, me, prayer, read, reading, serenity, terms, wisdom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

44 shares on X this month:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

54 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

19 shares on X this month:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Broadcasted on Discord:

Hell, yes, I work out. Somebody has to support the ibuprofen industry.

Just shared via Slack:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Making waves on Threads:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Breaking via YouTube:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Trending via Twitch:

At what age do I delete Snapchat?

Going viral on Messenger:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

Live now on WeChat:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨