Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Talk about precision cutting! 🍞✂️ Who knew carbs could be so high maintenance? One bite-sized piece at a time, that's the way to go! 😂 #CarbSlicingPro"

before, carb, carbs, cut, decision, diet, eating, food, humor, joke, pieces, smaller

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

0

2 months ago

correct, favorite, favorite song, funny observation, humor, i, know, lyrics, me, misunderstanding, music, observation, song, songs, Spotify
My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

0

2 months ago

believe, contact, dog, eye, eye contact, humor, just, me, nap, pet
I hope this email punches you square in the face.

0

2 months ago

communication, email, face, hope, humor, i, punch, sarcasm, square, workplace
The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

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6 months ago

art, curiosity, fine, humor, meddling, nose, sticking, where
I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

0

2 months ago

budgeting, diet, dollars, effective, financial, food, humor, i, joke, money, only, payday, struggle, twenty
The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

0

4 months ago

absence, comfort, comfortable, habit, loneliness, longer, people, relationship, something, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

71 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

83 shares on Discord this month:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

86 shares on Slack this month:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

79 shares on X this month:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Having to pee when you’re driving is problematic. Having to sneeze when you’re driving is even more problematic.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Just shared via WeChat:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Trending via Discord:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Trending via Threads:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Seen just now on X:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Going viral on X:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve decided to cut my carbs… into smaller pieces before eating them.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨