Trendy Funny Quotes

  • It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.
  • I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.
  • My plant is drunk, it’s growing in the wrong direction.
  • It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.
  • I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.
  • Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.