Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I bought a book on Feng Shui, but I don’t know where to put it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’m feeling sexy today. You’ve been warned.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

355 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,624

Funny Quotes Topics

17,675

Funny Quotes Images

15,624

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Have you ever met the human version of a headache?

Trending via Discord:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Spotted on Twitch:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Shared recently on Twitch:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Going viral on Snapchat:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Shared recently on Slack:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Just landed via X:

I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo.

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

6 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mind blown! 🚪✨ Who knew every door was practicing levitation this whole time? 😂

air, door, doors, fear, floating, humor, i, just, realization

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

1 week ago

alone, asking, bastards, dumb, forgetfulness, humor, know, lazy, lazy pet, living, living alone, never, pet, pets, phone, seen, talking, talking to pet
I need a massage for my brain.

2 months ago

brain, humor, i, massage, need, relaxation, relief, self-care, stress, stress relief
Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

2 months ago

day, escape, every, exercise, fitness, humor, leg, leg day, motivation, problem, problems, running
There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

2 months ago

comments, leave, people, porn, videos
My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

2 months ago

amazing, center, doing, flowers, garden, gardening, humor, i, left, outdoor, where, year
Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

2 months ago

brain, chemicals, happy, happy chemicals, health, humor, mental, mental health, mood, motivation, release

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Twitch this month:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

29 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

71 shares on Discord this month:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

90 shares on Facebook this month:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

56 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

54 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

69 but we both just farting.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

Just shared via X:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Trending via Messenger:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Seen just now on WeChat:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

I need a massage for my brain.

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨