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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’ve calculated my December budget and realized I can only afford to pray.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Trending via Instagram:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Trending via Pinterest:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Spotted on YouTube:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Breaking via Facebook:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Killing me softly with his schlong.

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Killing me softly with his schlong.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's experiencing a musical interlude of a different kind! 🎶🍆 Just remember, it's all fun and games until someone hits a high note… 😂 #AwkwardlyCatchyTunes"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

55 shares on Snapchat this month:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

70 shares on Instagram this month:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

52 shares on Threads this month:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

75 shares on Discord this month:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,412

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Going viral on WeChat:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Spotted on Reddit:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Just shared via Facebook:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Live now on Slack:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

Making waves on WeChat:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Making waves on YouTube:

Netflix & by yourself.

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