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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

33 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Spotted on Threads:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Just landed via Messenger:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Seen just now on Messenger:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Seen just now on Instagram:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Spotted on WeChat:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

6 months ago

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'fake it till you make it' strategy falling flat? 😅 Sounds like someone forgot to include some glitter and unicorn magic in the mix! 🦄✨ Time to swap out that facade for some real talk and maybe a sprinkle of actually dealing with it. You got this! 💪 #KeepingItReal"

coping, everything, fine, humor, lame, pretending, reality, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

33 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

Live now on TikTok:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Reported on X:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Spotted on Twitch:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Just landed via Reddit:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

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