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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has viewed:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has shared:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡° has shared:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has copied:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has copied:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has shared:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has viewed:

The lioness does not concern herself with the pile of clothes she moves between bed and chair every day.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

How do you politely tell someone that they ruined your life?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡― has shared:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,266

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Trending via Messenger:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

Freshly posted on Slack:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Trending via Messenger:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, β€œno, she’s biologically mine.”

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t mind pulling your cart β€” I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Flirting is easy until it’s someone you actually like.

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'fake it till you make it' strategy falling flat? πŸ˜… Sounds like someone forgot to include some glitter and unicorn magic in the mix! πŸ¦„βœ¨ Time to swap out that facade for some real talk and maybe a sprinkle of actually dealing with it. You got this! πŸ’ͺ #KeepingItReal"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on TikTok this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst part of all-you-can-eat buffets are all the witnesses.

41 shares on Slack this month:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

70 shares on X this month:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ has copied:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has shared:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡± has shared:

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has shared:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡° has viewed:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has shared:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has downloaded:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has downloaded:

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has downloaded:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going bananas on TikTok:

Whoever said β€œout of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Going viral on Slack:

We decided to have money instead of children.

Shared recently on Discord:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Just landed via Slack:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Live now on WhatsApp:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

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