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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Ah yes, my abandonment issues due to all the abandonment.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

There is a grave concern that this post will produce zero likes.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

463 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,732

Funny Quotes Topics

17,754

Funny Quotes Images

15,732

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Just shared via Reddit:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Going viral on TikTok:

There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

Making waves on Instagram:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Going viral on YouTube:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Life is way too short to pretend you’re not into some freaky stuff.

Life is way too short to pretend you’re not into some freaky stuff.
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Commentary:
Embrace your inner weirdo, life’s too short to be normal! 😜🤪✨

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Telegram this month:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

46 shares on X this month:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

69 shares on Slack this month:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m not even paying attention.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

463 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,732

Funny Quotes Topics

17,754

Funny Quotes Images

15,732

Updated

Jan 14, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Called in, “Taking a gap year.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Making waves on Slack:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Going viral on X:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Live now on Facebook:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Just landed via X:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Making waves on X:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Stop asking a clown why he keeps acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

Spotted on Slack:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I were a category, I’d be “miscellaneous.”

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