Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

Just landed via Instagram:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Just landed via YouTube:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Breaking via TikTok:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Just shared via Messenger:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Trending via WeChat:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Shared recently on X:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Going viral on Messenger:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

1 week ago

Humorous text claiming ice cream with eggs is a breakfast food, playful and witty.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic breakfast dilemma – should I have eggs or ice cream? Why not both and call it a balanced diet! Who knew that the secret to starting your day off right was a scoop of Rocky Road? Ice cream for breakfast: breaking rules and breaking fasts."

breakfast, cream, debate, egg, food, food debate, humor, ice, ice cream, logic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Instagram this month:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

18 shares on Discord this month:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

13 shares on Discord this month:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When my cat gets in trouble I call him by his full name, Catthew.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,557

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My phone went from fully charged to 10% while I was sleeping, so I guess it leads a more exciting nightlife than I do.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I miss when YouTubers would just record for, like, 20 minutes, and upload the whole thing completely unedited.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Spotted on TikTok:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Trending via Slack:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Going viral on YouTube:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Spotted on YouTube:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

Just shared via Twitch:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

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