Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.
  • Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.
  • I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”
  • I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.
  • Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.
  • As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.