Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive pursuit of happiness! Turns out, it might just be a shopping spree away 🛍️💸 Just remember, if money can't buy happiness, at least it can buy ice cream… and that's pretty close! 🍦😄 #RetailTherapyGoals"

actually, buy, happiness, humor, irony, maturity, money, realization, realize

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

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2 months ago

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I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

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2 months ago

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For Halloween, you should be mine.

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2 months ago

flirtation, Halloween, holiday, love, mine, pun, romantic, should
Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

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2 months ago

birthday, forget, forgetfulness, humor, ignore, laundry, Masters, men, multitasking, once, relationships, sports, stereotypes, watch
Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

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2 months ago

asking, assertiveness, care, dental, dental care, dentist, dominance, everyday, flossing, humor
Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

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2 months ago

bar, comfort, comfort food, eating, emotional, emotional support, food, humor, just, purse, self-care, snack, Snickers, support

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Girl to girl: Please have at least two boyfriends.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

48 shares on Telegram this month:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

46 shares on Reddit this month:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

31 shares on Slack this month:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

I had a dream about you. You were stupid there, too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Police officer: please step out of your vehicle. Me: after this song, hold on.

Breaking via Discord:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

Breaking via Instagram:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Just landed via YouTube:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Just shared via Telegram:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Trending via WeChat:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Just landed via Slack:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Going viral on X:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Just landed via Snapchat:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

For Halloween, you should be mine.

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Establish dominance by asking your dentist if he’s flossing everyday.

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨