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Commentary:
"Therapist of the Year award goes to… *drumroll*… Me! 🏆💤 Who needs therapy when you can just nap your problems away, am I right?! 😂 #NapTherapy"

advice, health, humor, just, listen, me, mental, mental health, nap, relaxation, take, therapist

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

0

2 months ago

brain, chemicals, happy, happy chemicals, health, humor, mental, mental health, mood, motivation, release
As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

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5 months ago

age, aging, amazing, bird-watching, birdwatching, creeps, fast, hobby, humor, nature, older, older age, pastime, surprise
I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

0

2 months ago

beef, guys, humor, i, love, music, rap, romance, romantic, sing, songs
Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

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4 months ago

break, breaks, commercial, commercial break, comparison, feel, humor, movie, relaxation, short, short break, stress, stressful, weekend
Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

0

2 months ago

alike, great, humor, irony, mind, minds, stupid, think, wisdom
There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

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2 months ago

car, disconnect, humor, level, self-deprecation, singing, talent

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Slack this month:

The crematorium is my last hope for a hot body.

92 shares on Threads this month:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

16 shares on Instagram this month:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

99 shares on Threads this month:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Much like an Olympic sprinter, I also load up on carbs, exert myself for roughly two minutes, and then quit for the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

Making waves on WeChat:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Freshly posted on Threads:

We really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

Shared recently on Discord:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Live now on X:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨