Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,255

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Just landed via Instagram:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Going viral on YouTube:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Going viral on Discord:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Trending via Threads:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Making waves on Reddit:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to play hard to get when they're already in stealth mode 😂🤷‍♂️🔍

dating, Funny, funny observation, hard, hard to get, hard to want, humor, me, men, observation, playing, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

0

3 months ago

avoid, avoid stress, class, life, only, paradox, skip, skip class, skipping, stress, student, student life
Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

0

3 months ago

ahead, doing, grammar, humor, joke, know, mistake, punctuation, semi-colon, semicolon, writing, wrong
Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

0

5 months ago

app, apps, date, dating, dating app, delete, deleting, department, hr, HR department, humor, meet, old fashioned, relationship, someone, workplace
Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, event, everyone, fact, fun, fun fact, gangster, humor, icebreaker, moment, reveal, self-disclosure, work, work event
Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

0

2 months ago

activity, coffee, day, drink, drinking, flask, fun, fun activity, humor, productivity, spice, spice up, work, work day
With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

0

2 months ago

activity, child, concentration, dandelion, every, fun, hand, important, knows, lollipop, summer

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Slack this month:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Went fishing and actually caught a fish. So now I gotta deal with this shit.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

81 shares on Telegram this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Going bananas on Instagram:

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t be ashamed of who you are, that is your parent’s job.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Just landed via Threads:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Spotted on WeChat:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Going viral on Facebook:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Making waves on WeChat:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨