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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ง has viewed:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Called in, โ€œI can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Iโ€™m uncomfortable around tall people. What if they pick me up and put me on their shoulders?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Everyoneโ€™s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Breaking via Snapchat:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Just shared via WeChat:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?
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Commentary:
Holding onto boxes like we're preparing for the World's Slowest Moving Challenge ๐Ÿ“ฆ๐Ÿ˜‚ #BoxCollectorsUnited

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

40 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so donโ€™t get too excited.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

โ€œYouโ€™re like cherry lip gloss. I just canโ€™t get enough.โ€

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

Welcome to your 50โ€™s, youโ€™ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

Why would I get married when itโ€™s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on TikTok:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Live now on WeChat:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Making waves on Instagram:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Trending via Slack:

Iโ€™m not actively avoiding you. I donโ€™t actively do anything.

Spotted on Reddit:

All day I think about sleep but when itโ€™s time to go to bed I donโ€™t wanna.

Going viral on X:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I miss the good olโ€™ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

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