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Commentary:
"Menstruation: the totally Lynchian experience where your body decides to host its very own Twin Peaks marathon every month! 🩸🕰️🦉 #StrangeButTrue"

absurdity, bizarre, came, creativity, david, David Lynch, humor, humor in life, life, lynch, menstruation, something

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

0

2 days ago

happy, Happy New Year, healing, humor, interrupt, interruption, new, process, relationship, texting, year
I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

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2 months ago

abandoned, cobweb, humor, joke, money, moving, rent, saving, saving money
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

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2 months ago

admire, driver, frustration, humor, irony, patience, perspective, road, something, traffic
What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

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2 months ago

bear, dark, dark humor, hope, humor, mauled, polite, polite way, sarcasm, someone, tell
Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

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2 months ago

boundary, business, humor, just, none, personal, privacy, sarcasm, secret, secrets, sometimes
It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

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6 months ago

around, day, evening, feel, lazy, lazy day, management, procrastination, regret, sad, sadness, Sunday, time, time management, waste, weekend

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Facebook this month:

In your twenties, there may be love. It’s very important to ignore this love and pursue a master’s instead.

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

Friday the 13th used to mean something. Now every day is awful.

20 shares on X this month:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

75 shares on Instagram this month:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Websites need to realize that no one ever, ever wants the site to be able to send them notifications.

Live now on Twitch:

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

Trending via Facebook:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Trending via Snapchat:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Making waves on YouTube:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Just landed via TikTok:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Shared recently on Slack:

Many people love saying, “Get these away from me,” after eating a few chips.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨