Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Are you just gonna go with the flow until you spiral down the drain?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

If Monday were available for purchase at IKEA, it would be called “Fekking Hell”.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,336

Social Media Log 💫

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my microwave missed its calling as a motivational speaker who only knows one line! ⏰😆

calm, chill, humor, impatience, microwave, time, zero

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

0

2 months ago

anything, communication, humor, open, open up, opening, police, relationship, say, talk, talking, used, warning, woman
Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

0

2 months ago

authentication, birth, birth control, condom, control, humor, joke, protection, relationship, safety, two-factor, two-factor authentication
Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

0

2 months ago

attitude, comeback, compass, disrespect, humor, i, me, moral, moral compass, respond, response
My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

0

2 months ago

able, being, childhood, humor, memory, night, nostalgia, rested, sleep, waking
My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

0

5 months ago

alone, awkward, awkward situation, college, ex, gf, girlfriend, humor, i, just, lot, means, reason, relationship, situation, story, talk, where
If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

0

2 months ago

advice, ask, communication, concerns, hesitate, humor, irony, questions

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Twitch this month:

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

54 shares on Instagram this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oh good. Another day.

16 shares on Slack this month:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

May I please come over and curl up in your lap like a cat?

11 shares on Instagram this month:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t you hate it when you buy veggies and when you get them home you realize they’re donuts?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Just landed via Discord:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Trending via Messenger:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Live now on TikTok:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Going viral on Threads:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Spotted on Twitch:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨