Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said “breast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.
  • One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.
  • The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?
  • The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.
  • My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.
  • Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.