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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Going viral on TikTok:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Trending via Messenger:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Live now on X:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Trending via YouTube:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Spotted on WeChat:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Embracing my inner genius: the one that gets lost in its own parking lot 🤔🚗💨🤣

ease, free, freedom, humor, intelligence, intelligent, most, problem, problems, self-awareness, stupidity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

2 months ago

dream, dreams, female, find out, humor, phone, phones, relationship
“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

1 month ago

anger, angry, behavior, humor, internet, online, online behavior, personality, unfortunate
The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

2 months ago

card, humor, i, joke, magic, magician, me, pick, told, trick, Visa
Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

6 months ago

comet, escape, hope, hoping, humor, procrastination, responsibility
I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

2 months ago

card, cards, credit, credit card, finances, humor, i, joke, limit, spending, too
I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

2 months ago

absurdity, animal, desire, escape, everything, fix, freedom, horse, humor, i, Kazakhstan, wild, wild horse, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

81 shares on X this month:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

You did all that terrible driving just to end up right next to me at the stop light.

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

29 shares on Discord this month:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m thinking stuff like “yeah” and also stuff like “yup.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Good morning to the wind beneath my wings only.

Going viral on Threads:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Trending via Snapchat:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Just shared via WeChat:

I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.

Making waves on Telegram:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Going viral on Threads:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Making waves on Telegram:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Seen just now on X:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨