Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like the pens are the real precious assets at that bank! 🖊️💰 Maybe the pens are off on a vacation, spending all that safe money somewhere sunny… 🌴😎 Just don't let them draw on your bank account balance!"

bank, desk, finance, irony, keep, me, missing, money, pen, pens, safe, security, trust

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

0

2 months ago

Christmas, drinks, holiday, humor, joke, leave, me, milk, Santa, whiskey
My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

0

2 months ago

comedy, desire, health, humor, information, information overload, informed, irony, mental, mental health, odds, overload, sane, stress
How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

0

2 months ago

anticipation, day, disappointment, expectation, family, fun, humor, time, travel, vacation
Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

0

2 months ago

animal, beaver, comedy, doing, engineering, humor, hydraulic, hydraulic engineering, little, rat
I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

0

3 months ago

attraction, change, dating, funny observation, i, interest, interested, love, man, mood, mood change, move, observation, obsession, relationship, woman, women, wrong
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, just, kill, me, next, oh, ok, resilience, strength, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on YouTube this month:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

18 shares on X this month:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

91 shares on Messenger this month:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

38 shares on X this month:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

He’s a 10 but so is his volume.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Shared recently on WeChat:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Making waves on Instagram:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

Making waves on WeChat:

Being skinny may be nice, but chicken nuggets are even nicer.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨