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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has shared:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has viewed:

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has copied:

I often got called β€œan old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡¬ has copied:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has shared:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has downloaded:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has copied:

My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,489

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via YouTube:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Going viral on Reddit:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Trending via Discord:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Shared recently on Discord:

When they ask β€œhow was your weekend?” answer β€œbetter than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Spotted on Facebook:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

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My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the universal struggle of colds – when we become the ultimate experts on our own sniffling miseries! πŸ€§πŸ˜‚ Just remember, sympathy and tissues are the best remedies in times of 'who's got it worse' debates! πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ #ColdConfessions"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

50 shares on TikTok this month:

I bought a β€œHow to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

38 shares on Slack this month:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Holiday dinners with family are like real life boss levels with the worst loot.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Confucius says: “Those who drink a lot die earlier, but have seen twice as much in life.”

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being social sucks all my energy.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has viewed:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡· has downloaded:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡¨ has viewed:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has viewed:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡© has downloaded:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has bookmarked:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on Threads:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Going viral on Threads:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to β€œWhat’s your favorite color?β€œ

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Making waves on Slack:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Just landed via Twitch:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Trending via WeChat:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

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