Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.
  • There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.
  • A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.
  • I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.
  • I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.
  • I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.