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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

54 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Making waves on Discord:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Shared recently on Slack:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Just shared via Messenger:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Going viral on Messenger:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Just shared via Messenger:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Just shared via Reddit:

Deodorant? No, I never need to buy any. People just give it to me. Complete strangers sometimes.

Reported on TikTok:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Just shared via Slack:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

5 months ago

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the universal struggle of colds – when we become the ultimate experts on our own sniffling miseries! 🤧😂 Just remember, sympathy and tissues are the best remedies in times of 'who's got it worse' debates! 🤷‍♂️ #ColdConfessions"

cold, comparison, happening, humor, illness, me, worse, yours

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

54 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Just shared via Twitch:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Seen just now on Slack:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Trending via Reddit:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Just shared via Twitch:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Shared recently on Discord:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

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