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🐶😒 "My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job. Honestly, if side-eyeing was a paying gig, my furball would be living his best life! Maybe I should start charging him rent for all that sassy attitude." 😄 #UnemployedButUnbothered

animal, animal behavior, behavior, dog, eye, give, humor, job, lot, pet, side, side eye, someone, sure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

1 month ago

battles, humor, i, lazy, let, me, pick, procrastination, self-deprecation
I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

1 month ago

again, catchy, catchy song, entertainment, humor, i, live, nostalgia, sitcom, song, songs, television, theme, theme song, TV, TV sitcom, want, where, world
Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

1 month ago

balance, days, enough, fun, leisure, longer, petition, time, time off, weekend, work life, work-life balance
Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

1 month ago

cake, dessert, eat, enjoyment, food, fork, harder, humor, much, plastic, plastic fork
If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

2 months ago

billionaire, Earth, else, escape, everyone, humor, i, leave, Mars, rockets, satire, space, space travel, travel, wealth
You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

1 month ago

bad, guy, humor, idea, Lord of the Rings, ring, room, rule, speak

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

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I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

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I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Trending via Messenger:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Trending via Instagram:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

Making waves on Facebook:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Seen just now on Instagram:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

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My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

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My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Petition to make weekends longer. Two days isn’t enough.

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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