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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

28 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Going viral on Telegram:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Making waves on Slack:

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

Broadcasted on Slack:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Trending via Twitch:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I want to clarify that what I publish on social media does not define me as a person; I am worse.

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

6 months ago

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🐶😒 "My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job. Honestly, if side-eyeing was a paying gig, my furball would be living his best life! Maybe I should start charging him rent for all that sassy attitude." 😄 #UnemployedButUnbothered

animal, animal behavior, behavior, dog, eye, give, humor, job, lot, pet, side, side eye, someone, sure

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

28 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Trending via Messenger:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Spotted on TikTok:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Ladies, repeat after me: “I was wrong and I am sorry!”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Spotted on Threads:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Going viral on X:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

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