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Commentary:
Ah, a classic case of waking up to find your trusty steed has done a disappearing act courtesy of the Mafia! 🐎💼 Bet that guy wasn't expecting a half-horsepower engine in his bed! 🤣 #MafiaMagic #HorseWhispererGoneWrong

absurdity, bed, bottom, favorite, Godfather, guy, half, horse, humor, mafia, movie, movie scene, scene, scream, screams, stolen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

0

2 months ago

brightness, charisma, confidence, humor, ignore, impact, impossible, necessary, presence, self-esteem, sun
Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

0

2 months ago

being, day, day job, having, humor, job, juggling, just, man, modern, modern problems, parker, Patreon, PayPal, peter, Peter Parker, problems, Spider-bio, stupid, superhero, throw
Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

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2 months ago

brain, doing, effort, good, hard, humor, humor quote, i, job, know, mental, mental effort, self-awareness, self-deprecating, trying
Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, door, doors, Earth, extraterrestrial, fly, humor, joke, lock, past, safety, space
A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, bird, comparison, dog, food, food comparison, hot, hot dog, humor, penguin, sandwich
You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

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2 months ago

aging, body, fight, fighting, getting, humor, old, over, pain, parts, realize, start

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

26 shares on X this month:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

99 shares on Snapchat this month:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

35 shares on X this month:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

51 shares on X this month:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

35 shares on TikTok this month:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

17 shares on X this month:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

50% of parenting is just trying to decide if that noise is worth walking up all of those stairs.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Going viral on Telegram:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Shared recently on Instagram:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Spotted on Reddit:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Just shared via Messenger:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

Live now on Discord:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Making waves on X:

“Follow your heart,” as advice, is sort of like “abandon yourself to cognitive bias.”

Making waves on Messenger:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Breaking via WeChat:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨