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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Had a king sized bed all to myself last night. Must be what Rose felt like on that door.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Adulting in 3 words: it’s always something.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1867 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,029

Funny Quotes Topics

14,820

Funny Quotes Images

12,029

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Spotted on Telegram:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Spotted on Threads:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Just shared via TikTok:

You wish you had this many chins.

Spreading quickly via X:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Making waves on Telegram:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Breaking via Telegram:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.
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Commentary:
Sending a little rain to water those seeds of discontent 🌧️🌱😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1867 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,029

Funny Quotes Topics

14,820

Funny Quotes Images

12,029

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,428

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Just landed via X:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Broadcasted on X:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Spotted on Instagram:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Going viral on Threads:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Trending via TikTok:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

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