Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Who said you can't be productive in just 7 minutes? 🚀💼 Must be aiming for that world record for quickest workday ever! 😂⏰ #EfficiencyGoals"

am, efficiency, humor, ideal, productivity, short, time, workday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

0

4 months ago

activity, blonde, blonde child, child, children, cream, ever, expensive, family, family outing, humor, ice, ice cream parlour, observation, outing, parlour, summer, summer activity, think
Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

0

2 months ago

boyfriend, call, communication, dating, girlfriend, hello, humor, love, me, relationship
A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

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2 months ago

haunted, haunted house, head, house, humor, inside, introspection, just, loneliness, mental, mental state, mind, own, self, spooky, state
If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

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2 months ago

circle, friend, humor, identity, joke, Matt, social, social circle, white, white friend
My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

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2 months ago

asked, chores, do-it-yourself, garbage, humor, husband, i, marriage, relationship, take, type, wit, yourself
Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

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1 month ago

addiction, alcohol, cycle, drinking, humor, recovery, regret, repeat, self-awareness, vicious, vicious cycle

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

25 shares on YouTube this month:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

73 shares on X this month:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I would have loads of money if I liked Ramen Noodles and hated vodka.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Descibe your boobs only using a picture of them.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Just landed via Discord:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Shared recently on Threads:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Trending via Snapchat:

Money will not leave you on read for 9 hours.

Making waves on Discord:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Just landed via Slack:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

Live now on Slack:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨