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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Yโ€™all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at yโ€™all now.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has shared:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isnโ€™t a selfie.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

When I say someone is a good doctor, itโ€™s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

House sitting for friends while theyโ€™re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Tinder is a food delivery app if youโ€™re good at it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and Iโ€™m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to โ€˜In The Air Tonightโ€™.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Telegram:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because itโ€™s way more embarrassing.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Shared recently on X:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Seen just now on Messenger:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Live now on Reddit:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Spotted on Telegram:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Trending via Pinterest:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM

My ideal workday would be from 9:00 AM to 9:07 AM
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Commentary:
"Who said you can't be productive in just 7 minutes? ๐Ÿš€๐Ÿ’ผ Must be aiming for that world record for quickest workday ever! ๐Ÿ˜‚โฐ #EfficiencyGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has bookmarked:

Life is weird and then you die.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Nobody will know youโ€™re stoned if youโ€™re always stoned.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

DMs full of guys who wouldnโ€™t know what to do with me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

I received a DM telling me that Iโ€™ve offended some of you. Iโ€™m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

No one suddenly needs anything more than a kid whose mom has just sat down and gotten comfortable.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

Quickie so fast, itโ€™s called secs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

Who else here can say that they have NEVER watched any of the Kardashian shows?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Discord:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Making waves on Twitch:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Going viral on Slack:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

Trending via Discord:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Shared recently on Telegram:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I donโ€™t really like the song “Iโ€™ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Going viral on TikTok:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Just shared via TikTok:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Just landed via Twitch:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

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