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Commentary:
"Sounds like your mom's texts are a proper workout for your attention span! 💊💬 Better refill that Adderall, or you might miss out on vital updates like 'Uncle Bob's cat's dental appointment' 😂 #TextsFromMom"

Adderall, communication, humor, i, length, me, message, mom, prescription, read, reading, text, text message

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

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2 months ago

bug, bugs, developer, finding, humor, irony, joke, love, nature, only, programming, spider, technology, web, web developer
When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

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3 months ago

eat, food, fridge, going, hands, humor, i, laziness, lemon, lemons, life, me, next, procrastination, put, salad
Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

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2 months ago

circumstance, circumstances, control, excuse, humor, i, irony, late, procrastination, well
Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

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2 months ago

cicada, humor, i, insects, mind, nature, scream, sound, summer
Trying is the first step toward failure.

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2 months ago

failure, first step, humor, irony, motivation, self-deprecation, step, trying
No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

0

2 months ago

done, flower, flower girl, girl, home, humor, kids, planning, Uber, wedding, wedding planning

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

31 shares on Threads this month:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

41 shares on Discord this month:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

63 shares on Telegram this month:

Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Trying is the first step toward failure.

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨