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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Adults should get spring break from their jobs.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,991

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Just shared via Pinterest:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Seen just now on Telegram:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Just landed via TikTok:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Seen just now on Discord:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Seen just now on Slack:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"😂 My phone took a look at my sanity and decided it needed a break too! 📴🙃"

am, disturb, disturbed, do not disturb, enough, humor, humor quote, i, phone, self-deprecating, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

0

2 months ago

expenses, fighting, finance, finish, humor, irony, life, same, struggle, time, timing, toiletry
That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

0

2 months ago

day, delivery, every, household, humor, living, living situation, package, quirky, roommate, situation, unemployed
Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

0

5 months ago

addiction, around, day, glass, humor, just, life, modern, modern life, phone, phones, screen, sit, smartphone, tapping, technology, wild
My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

0

2 months ago

ancestry, back, came, cheese, DNA, genetics, humor, i, identity, saying, selection, wide
Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

0

4 months ago

attitude, cynic, high, humor, idealist, only, personality, sarcasm, standard, standards
Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

0

2 months ago

humor, interaction, irony, people, people pleaser, person, personality, personality trait, pleaser, single, social, social interaction, trait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

98 shares on Messenger this month:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

41 shares on X this month:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

100 shares on Threads this month:

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it an Amazon wishlist and not an ‘Oughttobuyography’.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Just landed via Messenger:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Live now on YouTube:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Just landed via Threads:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Spotted on Instagram:

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

Just shared via Discord:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨