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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Making waves on Reddit:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Trending via Twitch:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

Trending via Twitch:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Just shared via Instagram:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Just landed via TikTok:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

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My rapper name would be 2 stressd.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If stress was a talent, I'd be dropping hits all day long as '2 Stressd' 🎤😅 Just wait until my next album 'Anxious Anthems' hits the charts! 🎶💥 #RapperLife"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

40 shares on Discord this month:

They should invent more hobbies for people without skills or patience.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

75 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

You ever liked a song so much you restart it before it even finishes?

20 shares on Facebook this month:

Good morning to everyone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Panties is such a weird word. Panties. I can’t say it sexy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,578

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

On one hand, it’s terrible to not have access to the Internet, but on the other hand, it’s terrible to have access to the Internet.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Trending via Twitch:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Just landed via Telegram:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Making waves on WeChat:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Just shared via TikTok:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

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