Trendy Funny Quotes

  • One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
  • The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.
  • I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
  • It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.
  • My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.
  • I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.