Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?
  • Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!
  • When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”
  • Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’
  • Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.
  • I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.