Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Ah-choo! 😈 Beware my sneezes, for they are so powerful that they could summon demons from the depths of the Middle Ages! 👻 Who knew my nasal exorcism skills were so legendary? 🤧 #SneezeGoals #PossessedByDemons

age, ages, belief, context, demon, humor, middle, middle age, people, possession, reaction, reason, sneeze

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

0

3 months ago

50s, age, aging, ailment, condition, health, humor, medical, medical condition, middle, middle age, mysterious, mysterious ailment, welcome
Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

0

2 months ago

gas, health, holding, hope, humor, intrusive, intrusive thought, joke, just, mental, mental health, mind, self-awareness, still, thought, thoughts
We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

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2 months ago

activity, age, age regression, both, childhood, friendship, fun, fun activity, humor, joking, me, playful, push, regression, same, swingset, time
Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

0

2 months ago

activity, camping, desire, fun, fun activity, humor, terrible, terrible thing, thing, things, want
“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

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2 months ago

admission, admit, afraid, bad, bad decision, daily, daily life, decision, example, good, house, humor, i, idea, irony, leave, leaving, leaving house, life, mistake, self-deprecation, terrible, thought, today, wrong
Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

0

2 months ago

attitude, confidence, date, dating, fashion, flirtation, humor, i, joke, man, men, nonchalant, underwear, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

27 shares on Discord this month:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I try to shoot all of my garbage into outer space, but usually it just lands in my neighbor’s backyard.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

33 shares on Slack this month:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The cost of living has gotten so high, I’m thinking about having a nap for dinner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Breaking via X:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I love when I clean my whole apartment just to sit in it like a Victorian widow waiting for bad news.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Making waves on Instagram:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Trending via Twitch:

Overthinkaholic!

Trending via Snapchat:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I accidentally used my dog’s shampoo today, and now I’m feeling like such a good girl.

Going viral on TikTok:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨