Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,555

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

(lost in the labyrinth and I’m wearing a Fitbit) Nice, got my 10,000 steps.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.

Making waves on TikTok:

I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days.

Trending via Slack:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Trending via Pinterest:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Trending via Instagram:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Let’s see how long my Monday slump lasts this time. Last week it was until Friday.

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Witty text about social media and soulmates, highlighting humor and playful cynicism.
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Commentary:
Looks like your soulmate hit the "unfriend" button instead of the "reply with love" one 😂💔 But hey, who needs soulmates when you've got memes, right? Keep those posts coming and maybe they'll come crawling back for more! 🤷‍♂️📱

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,363

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

Going bananas on TikTok:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Some people get it. Most people don’t.

Breaking via X:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Spotted on Messenger:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The night is dark and full of terrors. My day is long and full of meetings. Same thing.

Making waves on Twitch:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

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