Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Body by sandwich.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Dec 24, 2025

3,900

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Going viral on Threads:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Seen just now on Threads:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Spotted on Instagram:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m so cold, I wish I could get in the dryer.

Going viral on TikTok:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

2 months ago

0

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like your soulmate hit the "unfriend" button instead of the "reply with love" one 😂💔 But hey, who needs soulmates when you've got memes, right? Keep those posts coming and maybe they'll come crawling back for more! 🤷‍♂️📱

dating, delete, humor, me, media, online, online dating, post, posts, rejection, relationship, social, social media, soulmate

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

0

1 month ago

account, advice, bank, financial, financial humor, humor, i, joke, life, life advice, life motto, living, money, motto, need, short, spending, stop, words
I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

1

2 months ago

animal, death, die, donation, donor, elephant, humor, i, lighthearted, new, organ, organ donor, trunk, want
This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

0

1 month ago

around, busy, doom, doom scroll, downtime, i, internet, leisure, media, pajamas, relaxation, rest, scroll, sit, social, social media, time, weekend
Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

0

2 months ago

convenience, design, food, handles, humor, practicality, sandwich, suitcase
Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

0

2 months ago

death, dude, food, hot, hot wing, humor, Icarus, irony, joke, killed, people, wing, wings
Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

0

2 months ago

anyone, brain, confusion, else, feel, humor, hundred, multitasking, once, open, stress, tabs, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

99 shares on X this month:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,694

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

I put the mess in domestic.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I remember when asking someone if they were on X meant something completely different.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Breaking via Discord:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Studies show young people are having less sex than previous generations. I knew I was ahead of my time.

Going bananas on YouTube:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Trending via WeChat:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

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